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What Your Adopted Child Would Like You to Know

What-Your-Adopted-Child-Would-Like-You-To-Know

Often, in the adoption process, the adults speak to each other, get to know each other and make a decision to move forward based on their conversations. When the child is an infant, that’s the only available option. But what if the prospective adopted child could talk to you and tell you what they need? How might that change the process? Here’s what many adopted children say they would tell potential adoptive parents.

Don’t Assume That My Life Was Bad

Many adoptive parents think that children who are up for adoption must have been mistreated, must have suffered, and must have been sad or depressed. As a result, they have the mistaken belief that those children will now be “happy,” as they are with a “good” family. While many adoptees do come from troubled homes, not all do. Even those that do will experience a sense of loss when taken from a birthparent. The best thing you can do is provide a safe place where the child can feel and express all of his or her emotions.

Don’t Whitewash the Past

Regardless of what it is, your adopted child needs to know his or her story. If you aren’t open and honest with them, they’ll create their own story, and it may have no relationship with the truth. There’s an inescapable sense of loss when a child is adopted, and that sense of loss can only be mitigated when the child fully understands and talks about who he or she is. When your child is young, you’ll probably hear the story over and over—it’s how kids process at that age. Be patient and let it feel natural to them.

Contact Us

At the office of Linda Stewart Law, PLLC, in Baytown, we bring more than 8 years of experience to clients in south Texas. To learn how we can help, call our office at 281-420-8020 or contact us online. We offer an initial consultation at a reduced fee of $50. We accept credit cards and will set up a payment plan, if appropriate. Our offices are open Monday through Thursday, from 9 a.m. until 5 p.m., and until noon on Fridays. Evening and weekend appointments can be arranged upon request.

Se Habla Espanol | ASL and ESL Services Also Available

Things to Consider Before You Adopt

Things-To-Consider-Before-You-Adopt

An adoption can often be one of those classic “win-win” situations. A child in need gets a good home and individuals/couples who might not otherwise have the chance get to experience the joys of parenthood. But there’s a lot more to an adoption. If you’re looking to build a family through adoption, here are some things to consider before you start the process.

  • A child won’t help a troubled marriage—Don’t make the classic mistake of thinking that you just need a child to make your marriage work. In fact, a child will often make things more difficult. If you haven’t been able to agree on basic issues in your marriage, think of all the new decisions you’ll have to make—who will get up with the child in the middle of the night, who will work and who will stay home, who’s the best person to provide daycare, what’s the best way to discipline the child. You need to have a healthy relationship with each other before you can bring in a child.
  • Be prepared to learn—There are lots of "how-to" manuals for parenting, but every child is unique, so you’ll have to be flexible and learn what works and what doesn’t. There is much good information available, though, including parenting classes for adoptive parents.
  • Be prepared for a lot of questions—You’ll get questions from every direction, from friends and family and, ultimately, from your child. Well-meaning friends may ask questions about the cost of the process, about who the biological parents were or other sensitive issues. Your child will, at some point, come to understand that he or she is different from you. Everyone benefits if you talk about the adoption as early as possible.

Contact Us

At the office of Linda Stewart Law, PLLC, in Baytown, we bring more than 8 years of experience to clients in south Texas. To learn how we can help, call our office at 281-420-8020 or contact us online. We offer an initial consultation at a reduced fee of $50. We accept credit cards and will set up a payment plan, if appropriate. Our offices are open Monday through Thursday, from 9 a.m. until 5 p.m., and until noon on Fridays. Evening and weekend appointments can be arranged upon request.

Se Habla Espanol | ASL and ESL Services Also Available

Adopting a Step-Child

About 75 percent of divorced people will eventually remarry again. About 65 percent of these marriages will also contain children from a prior marriage. The family then, becomes a blended family.

When one of the parents is not in the picture, a stepparent adoption is an increasingly viable option for all involved. Adopting your stepchild is far easier than any other form of adoption, in most cases. Even the adoption hearing is streamlined in most stepparent adoption cases.

Get Consent From Birth or Legal Parent for Stepparent Adoption

The one important step you must take is to get legal consent from the other parent who does not have custody of the child. IF that parent does not agree, then you cannot adopt. However, if that parent has had his or her parental rights terminated due to abuse, neglect, mental illness, or abandonment, then you can go ahead and adopt.

Benefits to You and Your Stepchild When You Adopt

When you adopt, you are making a strong, powerful commitment to the stepchild in question. You are saying, in essence, I am your parent and will be so forever. This is a powerful message, especially if the child has suffered from abandonment or abuse by the other parent that is no longer in the picture.

By adopting, you are also assuming full legal rights and all responsibilities as the child’s parent, even though he or she is not your biological child. Your child can then take on your same last name, if you and your spouse so choose. Your child stands to inherit your estate, just as your other children can. If your spouse dies suddenly, you will still have the right to parent your stepchild.

Questions About Step-Child Adoption? Contact a Family Law Attorney

Stewart Law, PLLC, located in Baytown, Texas, has provided legal counsel to men and women seeking to adopt a step-child, and in divorce and other family law cases for 8 years. If you have questions relating to step-child adoption, we can give you advice that will help you decide how to proceed. For an initial assessment and consultation, contact our family law firm online or call our office at (281) 420-8020, at a reduced fee of $50.

 
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